After a particularly bad weekend health-wise, I got up this morning and took an epsom salt bath. I'm still stuffy and congested and achy, but a little less fatigued. Whether this is due to the epsom salts or me just taking a hot bath I can't say. While I was sitting there, I remembered something my grandma used to tell me, about how she would take her dishwater and use it to water to her garden. So after a 30 minute soak I got out and filled up my watering can, an empty water jug, and an empty two liter bottle of the epsom water before I drained the tub. I don't think I can bring myself to do an epsom bath three times a week, especially at their recommendation of one full cup of salt for every gallon, but I'll definitely be adding it to my future baths.

Will be leaving for traffic court soon. Hopefully this experience will inspire me to finally inflate the tires on my bike.

Another day with no productive outcome. I cooked us breakfast, our usual weekend eggs and toast, but no housework was done other than that. We went to my aunt's house to have lunch for my father's birthday celebration, and when we got back from that I almost instantly fell asleep for a few hours.

Did get to do a little research, and found that taking an epsom salt bath can be beneficial. Not sure how exactly, but if nothing else I know sitting in a hot bath will open up my chest a little. Trying to remember to get my lemon juice and cup of tea everyday, but that is surprisingly harder than I thought to remember. Being unemployed has given me the freedom to sleep whenever I feel the need, but it has thrown my schedule completely out of whack.

mind droppings

Today was not the best of days. Most of it was spent in bed. I was finally able to get my medicine, which cost almost $200. Of course it is too soon to tell if it is working, but I can definitely report that my gut has been emptied of almost all living things. If I don't lose some weight from this, I'm going to be pissed.

My soup from last night didn't turn out too bad, but I realize now I should have used minced garlic instead of garlic powder.

I tried using my homemade garbage disposal cleaners, only to discover my garbage disposal does not work. Am afraid to make homemade laundry detergent for fear the sink and washing machine may be in collaboration, but down to my last Tide pod.

Today saw the death of the Monsanto Protection Act, which I am pretty happy about. I'm pretty sure both sides can agree that whether you choose to eat GMOs or not, it needs to be labelled so we can make the choice.

I did remember to take my probiotic and my multivitamin today, as well as a swig of lemon juice.

Finally broke down and brought the laptop, kindle, and nintendo DS into the bedroom. Normally we have an unspoken rule of no electronics other than cell phones in the bedroom. The bedroom is for sleeping and  resting. Sadly, I foresee the possibility of me being in there much more in the immediate future.

Gold medals

There is a saying going around on the internet that "winning an argument on the internet is like winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics." I usually take the advice to heart and keep my opinions to myself until asked for them. But yesterday as I was going through holistic healing facebook pages I came across a particular one that looked interesting.......until I saw their anti-vaccination posts. I could not help myself. When someone states an opinion that "Government and pharmaceutical companies have created every disease!" you almost beg for someone to point out that diseases like leprosy and the plague have been around for thousands of years, even when there was no government anywhere. I registered my opinion, pointed out the flaw, and messaged the moderator of the page to let her know that while I supported almost everything else on the page, I couldn't support letting babies go unvaccinated. While the patrons of the page have insulted my intelligence, questioned my schooling, and still continue to harass me, the moderator handled herself the way an adult would. She said she was sorry I was of that opinion, offered me some literature, and wished me a good day. Honestly, I would almost go back to that page because of her actions. But after spending so much time arguing, I'm so done with people like that.

I don't even know why this bothers me so much. Certainly everyone is entitled to their own opinion. If presented with evidence and research they choose to believe that the benefits of a vaccine do not outweigh the risks, that is their right. But I think it's because this is sadly one of those issues that whoever is wrong doesn't pay the price. A parent can't go back and undo their own vaccines. They let their child, who has no say in the issue, who doesn't understand the risks and benefits, bear the burden. I almost want to equate anti-vaccination people slightly below if not on the same level of fundamentalist christians who would rather pray a disease away instead of seek medical help. That's fine for yourself, but if your baby is running a 105 degree fever and can't breath you take her to a hospital. It's not her choice, not her belief.

Speaking of doctors, I saw my immunologist today. Still pretty sick. He gave me a different course of antibiotics, and said if I don't show improvement in two weeks that he would consider hospitalizing me. Not going to lie, it was scary to hear that. But really, do I have anyone to blame but myself? I am overweight, out of shape, on a typical American diet, and have been swallowing antibiotics at the first sign of sickness all my adult life. Hopefully it won't come to that. But I have a pot full of homemade chicken soup, full of veggies and garlic, simmering on my stove right now. I added a multivitamin and a probiotic to my pill regimen. I can't undo 29 years of bad living in two weeks, but at least I can stop slowly destroying myself.

rambling about health

I don't have much to report today, as most of it was spent asleep. One of the reasons I have recently started looking into organic and natural lifestyle is because I am not healthy. I don't mean that as I'm overweight, or I don't work out. I have a very weak immune system. I am currently fighting with a chronic sinus infection that I've been carrying for two years. I have no energy, overwhelming sinus pain and pressure, and a myriad of other symptoms that make my life not as good as I know it could be. So I hope between a balanced combination of antibiotics and better living, I can increase my standard of health.

I know a lot of people scream that antibiotics aren't necessary and a pure organic lifestyle will solve all my problems. But see, I have an issue with that. I've taken medical classes, and I know and understand how viruses and bacteria work. I know how vaccines work. I know how the immune system works. The best and most organic lifestyle in the world makes no difference to certain diseases. It does not make you invincible. Are we an overmedicated world? Absolutely. I certainly attribute some of my immune issues to how much I was given medication as a child when I was sick, which was often. Do some doctors prescribe unnecessary medication to pad their pockets? Undoubtedly. Do pharmaceutical companies overcharge for medicines that cost pennies to make? No question about it. And I will be the first to say that our health care system is completely messed up. But that does not change the fact that these medicines and vaccinations work. What seems to be forgotten is that these medicines work better when the patient is healthy, and if they are healthy and living a good lifestyle they will not need these medicines as often. Sadly, we live in a society that if we (normal american adult) gets sick, we have maybe 3-7 sick days a year, if we are lucky. So when we get sick, we run to our doctors and demand to be well as soon as possible, because we can't afford to miss work. They throw antibiotics at us, and we don't take the time to rest and let our bodies try to fight off the sickness, because we don't have time. We have to be back at work as soon as possible to make the bills, even if it means prolonging the sickness because we don't rest, and it certainly means infecting the people around you. Which keeps the chain going.

I could go on, but I'm pretty tired. So let me just say this- while I am trying to incorporate a better lifestyle and eating habits, I'm still taking my antibiotics. And I will take them as prescribed, for the full dose, and keep paying through the nose for them and to see my doctor.

Chemistry class

I just got done watching a documentary called "Chemerical" on Netflix about a family who gives up store bought cleaners and toiletries for natural ingredients. The family was a little over the top and at the end it got pushy about "demand the principal of your children's school for non-toxic cleaners" and "have a make your own cleaner party" but it had a good message. I've been trying to cut back on my preservatives and additives in my food, but what about my apartment and clothes?

Earlier this year during my prepper craze I proudly went to my Wal-mart and bought a big box of washing soda, borax, and vinegar. I found recipes for chemical free laundry detergent and dishwasher powder. Made a huge bottle of liquid laundry detergent that lasted for about two months, and including buying the apple juice since I cleaned and reused the bottle, I estimate that it cost me about $5. FIVE BUCKS for TWO MONTHS. Granted, it's for two people. But our clothes were fine. They looked and smelled clean to me, and I'm pretty sure my friends would have told me if they weren't.  The only difference I could tell was I no longer had that fresh meadow scent, but I'm pretty sure people were catching on that I wasn't ACTUALLY rolling around in meadows. I don't even know where a meadow is, to be honest. But once that bottle ran out, I was working full time again and going to my last semester of school for my Associates degree, and time won out over money. A bag of laundry pods here and there at about $8 a bag quickly adds up. 

As for the dishwasher powder? Well, my first batch didn't go so well. I followed the recipe and made sure to add white vinegar to my liquid side, but my dishes never really got clean and there was a film that caked on. That quickly went to the wayside as well, unfortunately.

So after watching the documentary I went and looked at what I use to clean. 409 and Lysol wipes for the kitchen, scrubbing bubbles and windex for the bathroom. Tarn-x for our jewelry. Swiffer cleaner for our floors. Resolve for the carpet. Pods for the washer and dishwasher. Now, I'm not going to go out and swear off all my cleaners and never have chemicals again. But I'm pretty sure I have that recipe for the laundry detergent somewhere. I know I still have plenty of borax and washing soda. Maybe I can add some essential oils this time around. Who knows? Maybe the scrubbing bubbles will make a quiet and unheralded exit from my life, much like hot dogs.

The worms

I promised an explanation of the worms, so here it is. When I was caught up in the prepping fever, I was extremely discouraged that I couldn't keep chickens, or a decent garden, or really anything useful due to living in a small apartment. Determined to find SOMETHING, I stumbled across vermicomposting. Seemed simple enough. So I went down to Wal-mart and bought a 5 gallon plastic tote and some fishing worms. Got home, and realized one small problem: I had no access to dirt. My complex is heavily manicured so I couldn't just walk outside and dig a hole. Back to Wal-mart for a bag of dirt. Got the worms set up, promptly named all of them Jim, and crowed my success all over the social media. Dutifully turned the soil and fed them rice and various leftovers. A couple weeks in and a small increase of worms later, I made the bad decision to leave the top slightly askew to air it out a bit. Came home from work to discover my bin in complete disarray with duck prints all over my porch. None of the original Jims survived the Great Duck Attack. Back to Wal-mart for more worms. The next batch survived for much longer, and have been happily doing their worm thing safely secured. Until about a week ago. In my efforts to start up yet another small batch of attempted container gardening, I dumped all my old soil from prior failed attempts into the worm bin. One of them contained the little white foamy balls. Apparently, worms don't like those. The second Jim population dropped dramatically. So this morning I went to Wal-mart, bought a second bin, a bag of dirt, and 30 more worms. Dumped the first bin's contents into the bushes and fished out what few survivors there were, and now I have two worm bins and 30-40 happy worms. I have surprisingly used the bins much more than I thought. Egg shells are a common addition, as have been grapes and leftover rice from chinese dishes. I was able to once trade some worms for some pepper seeds (which was unknowingly thrown out by the dear fiance) and they churn out some really good soil. But really, no matter how many times I get asked why I have a worm farm, all I can say is it makes me happy. It has to be one of the lowest priority knowledge to have in the scheme of things, but it is mine. I have worms, I grow worms, and have awesome soil. It is something I have created with my hands. Is that silly?

Breakfast win or fail?

This morning I was able to sleep in somewhat, so I had enough energy to actually cook breakfast instead of my usual "here's some cereal now shut up". One of the best tips I have ever heard to start being more self sufficient is to simply cook your own meals. Once you do that, start cooking your meals from scratch. Now, I'm sure when you have a family and kids, you are bound by unspoken law to cook most of your meals. At least, that's what I remember growing up. But my mom only worked part time when we were kids. I work full time, and I only have to feed myself and the fiance. So dinners of porkchops, broccoli casserole and dinner rolls haven't been on the menu in a long time. But breakfast, I still hold my own when I want to. Usually I whip up some pancakes (from a box) or toast some bread (store-bought) or waffles (store bought), but today I upped my game. Having previously mastered the art of making eggs sunny side up, which may not seem like a big deal but my only prior knowledge was scrambled. Scrambled with cheese if I wanted to be fancy. So keeping with my desire to broaden my knowledge and do more for myself, I made the fiance two sunny side up eggs (regular eggs), toast, and BACON! That's right, I went to my Publix, got a hunk of (pre-packaged) uncooked bacon and fried some slices up. No more microwaving or pre-cooked bacon for me! Quickly learned two things: Bacon takes FOREVER to cook, and it is highly advisable to own a pair of tongs. I endured the spraying grease and fried up a few slices, eggs, and toast and presented it to the fiance with an air of self satisfaction. I made my man breakfast. Woman good. Grunt. And I'm fairly positive that if he hadn't been trying to figure out why the server at his job that he just created wasn't working, I'm sure he would've been in awe of my domestic abilities as well.

But throughout all that, I notice small things. What did I pull out while preparing? Pam spray. Even though I forgot to use it for his eggs, I'm pretty sure Pam, while useful, isn't all that great. And if I have to run to the store to buy it, that defeats my purpose of taking care of myself. So when it came time for my eggs, I used some of the bacon grease from his bacon instead of the Pam. I realize this does not seem like a big deal for most of you, and I hope you at least chuckle at this part. But I have never done this before. I have always seen the can of meat drippings by the kitchen sink in my moms house, but I always assumed it was because you can't just pour it down the drain. So I did the same thing, and when the can was full I just threw it out. But using it to grease my pans? Never crossed my mind. Surely there was some sort of bacteria or mold growing in it. But I was wrong, as many people have multiple uses for meat drippings. Also, when the bacon was done, before putting it on the breakfast plate I used a plastic disposable plate with paper towels to blot the grease. Guess where it went when I was done. In the trash. Where the plate will go sit in a landfill. At least the paper will decompose. But at least the egg shells will go toward a good use- the worm bin! Oh, did I mention I have a worm bin? Ok, so there's like two worms left. But I'll explain that in another post.

Introduction

I started this blog with the intention of keeping my thoughts, and hopefully maybe someone will read them and it will help them. Someone like me, who knows there needs to be a change but unsure where to start.

I guess I should give my background. My name is Lisa, and I am a 29 year old content female, living in an apartment with my fiance and cat. I live a very good life, firmly in the middle class and completely on the grid. I love to read, play video games, and go out to dinner with my fiance. We are annual passholders to DisneyWorld and go at least once a month.

About a year ago, I started realizing that the more I read on the news, the more discontent I was. A small voice in my head kept saying, this isn't right. Can't anyone see that needs to be stopped? The pollution of our oceans and air, the rising price of gas (both economically and environmentally) amidst the scorn of budding alternative energy sources. The sheer greed of American society as a whole. We have become such a consumer driven nation that we have lost all ability to take care of ourselves. But what could I, one person, do to stop this?

Nothing.

I can't control what the rest of the nation does. I can't even control what my cat does. But I can control what I do. While I am only one person, I control where I spend my money and what labels I give my money to. I swore off Wal-mart and vowed to eat only organic local grown food, grow my own garden, and started researching the prepper lifestyle of self-sufficiency.

That lasted all of a week. The reality soon set in: Wal-mart is popular for a reason, namely being the cheapest place to buy food. The cost of a dozen eggs is about a dollar, but a dozen organic free-range eggs are about $4. Making my own food from actually meats and veggies instead of pre-prepared boxes and bags took a lot more energy and time than I thought. Most of these ideas and suggestions I got were geared towards people who had a house, and a little bit of land. I live in a one bedroom apartment with no storage and very little sunlight. I got very discouraged, and went back to my consumer lifestyle. But that voice never went away. I kept reading up on prepping, self sufficiency, and how to disconnect myself from the cycle of consumerism. As much as you may think you can just switch to self-sufficiency, for your intents are strong and good and pure and surely they will be your guiding force, you can't. Or at least, I can't. It's a daily decision that you have to consciously make. And this is my recording of that struggle. So if you want to follow, please do. I hope I can help, or at the very least entertain you.